Peripheral Promises Unfulfilled

by alzabo

Bros. before hoes

by alzabo

I have a copy of smash 3, and it really embarrasses me. Not only do I feel that I’ve betrayed some sacred trust by buying it I can feel it’s horrible nostalgia beam slicing to my core and waking the animalistic consumer beast lying dormant in the recesses of my brain. The lumbering beast speaks in a guttural tone not unlike the mingled mumblings of a thousand neckbeards; urging me to spend absurd amounts of money on hard-to-find games that feature the participants of the incestuous pantheon known as Super Smash Brothers: Brawl.

One side effect of acquiring SMABURA is a renewed use of my Wavebird, which has not seen regular use since the summer of ’05 when Nanohana and I helped Leon S. Kennedy rescue a girl with huge monkey ears.

While looking at my rarely used Gamecube I looked back at my meager collection of games and spent some time ruminating about why this was such a neglected console in my house. The final game I bought for it was Odama, and in all I only purchased seven games. I won’t waste space detailing the short-comings of the ‘cube, instead I’ll simply say some positive things about it.

In hindsight, these are some of the things that stand out to me. The controller design is a welcome departure that I still appreciate today, I love it’s funky look and how it comfortably fits in my hands. The large central green “A” button flanked by a smaller red “B” button and two grey “X” & “Y” buttons makes more sense than most people are willing to admit for several genres of games. Some of the games that I found to be an absolute joy and never stopped being fun were: Resident Evil 4, Viewtiful Joe, Odama, Metroid Prime and Zelda: The Wind Waker.

While using my old Wavebird for the newest Nintendo party game on Wii, I chuckle slightly as I remember all the good times I’ve had with it fucking with my co-players in Super Monkey Ball by switching comm. channels to control my opponents characters. Using the Wavebird also makes me feel slightly hollow inside, almost like I’ve betrayed someone.

Then I remember that Nintendo hates me and will never give me Earthbound. If I ever want to play some weird rare Nintendo game they’re as close as the nearest computer with a internet connection.

Coin-op@home: My flawed logic

by alzabo

When I was younger I had an almost infinite amount of free time, I spent absurd amounts of free time playing RPGs in High School. While I do look back fondly on playing long involved console games, I no longer have the free time or patience necessary to fully enjoy them. I discovered this once I graduated from High School and entered college, I still had a strong desire to play games but found it very difficult to enjoy most console games. This was the because of several factors:

Console games are generally getting more complicated. Resulting not in thick instruction manual, but instead spawning internal game training tutorials that ease you into the game. Tutorials are fine, but when you have to walk away from a game for weeks at a time to focus on school or work the important nuances of a game’s controls can slip your mind, making further progress frustrating or even impossible. Without experiencing the tutorial and the gradual increase in difficulty over many hours the prospect of resuming play of an abandoned quest can be extremely daunting, most console RPG enthusiasts have experienced this . . . “Where was I going, what skills was I trying to level, who has X piece of equipment?”

Second, the price of console games. While I appreciate the price point console games are sold at, it presents a problem for many adult gamers. Children and teens can afford them, but generally cannot afford every game they desire. By and large, they play one game at a time because that is all they can afford. Adults on the other hand can usually afford every game that catches their eye, often resulting in a large stack of unfinished and even still shrink-wrapped games. I am guilty of this, I have a large collection of games that I desperately want to play yet never got around to.

Third, a lack of large blocks of time necessary to properly play console games. While many children and people can single mindedly dedicate themselves to games, I can’t let my real world obligations slide. The fact that console games dole out the “fun” in small chunks all throughout the game makes them feel intolerably long. While I do have “free time” I like to divide it between other activities as well; friends, family & beer come to mind immediately.

After being pushed away from console games, I gradually came to understand and enjoy arcade games in a new light. They are the antithesis of everything I dislike about console games:

Arcade games are simple to play yet hard to master. Their controls are usually limited to a 8-way joystick and one to six buttons. The cab itself usually has play instructions described in pictograms or a simple instruction demo that pops up before the game starts.

Arcade games are inexpensive to play in the arcade, but generally expensive to own at home. This relegates most sane adults who choose to collect them to a childlike position, they can only afford to own those they truly enjoy.

Arcade games rarely demand more than 30 minutes of time. While they can be beat in 30 minutes on free play, a real enthusiast will attempt to beat them on one credit, ensuring good value for money via replay. They are designed to be as fun as possible from the moment you drop your coin in the slot to the second your last life ends.

The whole situation is comically ironic to me. As a child, I would save my pocket money for months and months, avoiding arcades at times in order to buy a console game. I would insist to myself that I’d get more fun out of the console game. Now I find myself saving my money, avoiding buying console games to purchase arcade PCBs. I firmly believe that I’ll have more fun replaying game designed to be as enjoyable as possible for the entire duration of play, no matter how short it is.

Beating the hell out of your ‘stick.

by alzabo

I love arcade games.

When I was younger and living in Japan I would spend an absurd amount of time in the game centers near my High School in Kobe playing vs. fighting and puzzle games. My obsession with arcade games only grew upon returning to Seattle. I bought arcade sticks for home and used them until they were as floppy as a dead dog’s dick and the buttons were less responsive than a Neo cab you’d find in a coin laundry. 100% accuracy is essential for playing well and I would often suffer from sudden flashes of internal rage when my combos would not come out on my busted ‘sticks or at an arcade. I wanted to buy a Japanese Arcade stick made by Hori, but they were expensive and hard to come by locally at that time, so I decided to build one myself. 5 years ago I created an awesome replica of a Sega Astro City control panel, it has Sanwa controls and a comfortable layout that allows for hours of combos and parries. It still works flawlessly today and has travelled to many tournaments with me.

It turns out that my decision of years ago to build my own arcade stick instead of buying a Japanese Hori ‘stick was an excellent decision. Today I attempted to repair my friend Tweak’s two ‘sticks, the first one was a Hori, a 6-button Soul Caliber 2 stick from 2003. It had an obvious patina of love, as the finish had been rubbed off a good portion of the controller and the cord was knotted internally from being wrapped around the controllers over 1000 times over the last 4+ years. The problem was an intermittent connection problem that was caused by a knotted cord that had partially exposed wiring. Once inside the controller, I was horrified. The PCB for the ‘stick was hard soldered to the buttons, making removal of parts or service of the controller physically impossible; despite having buttons and parts that were designed to be replaced by arcade operators in a matter of minutes . Unfortunately, the stick’s cord was even more poorly manufactured, upon vivisection of the cord I discovered that the individual wires were not bundles of 22 or 24 gauge wire, but 6 strands of hair thin copper wrapped around a central nylon strand. I wasted two hours of my life attempting to resurrect the stick, there simply wasn’t enough copper there to make a good contact with butt-end connectors and soldering was impossible because of the nylon. Fuck you Hori, I hope you all die in a fire. Hopefully that fire will be at your company. Maybe it’ll happen when you’re all in an all night meeting discussing what shitty design to put on your next derivative fighting game tie-in controller.

The other stick Tweak brought for repair was the Street Fighter Anniversary Stick. I have dumped on this ‘stick publicly before, decrying it’s lack of accuracy and crappy knock-off buttons (Happ Controls they are not). Tweak complained of not being able to “shoto-sweep”. So I opened the stick up expecting something even worse than what I’d seen inside the Hori, I girded myself for a sea of parts connected to a rats next of daisy chained wiring floating in epoxy or maybe an aborted human fetus. Instead, a sensible layout with connectors that were exactly the same as the inside of a JAMMA cabinet greeted me. There were clearly marked and exposed button’s that are replaceable with high quality brand name parts, buttons connected to PCB’s by 22 gauge wire and spade connectors instead of solder. It was exactly like the inside of my Neo Geo MVS cabinet! Fixing his broken roundhouse button was as easy as plugging in a spade connector that had worked itself loose over the last several years.

In the end, today’s experience humbled me. I permanently lost respect for Hori and gained a lot of respect for who ever made the SF anniversary stick (even if it’s buttons are crappy, they can be swapped by even the most spastic person). I need to get my hands on one, if only so I can use the cool tiny PCB for building a more visually impressive and accurate arcade stick.