I’m not going to make some lame opening statement about Portal, you need to play it. It’s absolutely without peer, it blends together everything that is good and right into what is the video game equivalent of an orgasm.

Portal blends FPS aesthetics, unique puzzles and NEW game play concepts with a sense of humor that is as black as a python funeral. Christ, just buy it already!

The game also caters to speed runners, as each puzzle can be solved in several "incorrect" ways. Youtube is already rife with videos of people completing puzzles in confusing and stomach churning ways (watching & playing this game can cause motion sickness). The game has built in optional features designed for ‘running, a clock to keep track of how fast you are and a “portal” counter to keep track of how many portals you’ve used (for “minimum complete” ‘runners”). Why aren’t you playing this right now!

What the internet thinks of Portal*:

You need this game. Don’t forget, thecakeisalie.
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